Re:  http://www.violentacres.com/archives/158/diary-of-a-teenage-runaway

I had to figure out where to put, and what the hell you do with a trackback. I installed this pre-made, pre-formatted, simplistic (?) system in order to make it easier to journalize the most inane moments of my life, and have usually failed miserably (did you see the date of the post before this?)

I never really link elsewhere. I don’t think of my blog on a daily basis – and, for being the somewhat befuddled geek that I am, I consider that a benevolent happenstance more than a failure. So, the day it happened that I wanted to send a few words out to someone I didn’t know, I found it was meant to be … well, slightly difficult.

And that pause made me question my motives for wanting to do so.

Good.

The best gifts may be reflective.

So.

I’ve never had it as bad as the story. Never. I’m not sure I can conceive of it – am I egotistical either way? I agree with the supposed point of it, perhaps because I try to, or looked for it.

One site I was a part of had an argument that… somehow (I don’t think it was the original intent) turned into whether rape was worse than bullying.

I assumed rape. Actually, I never considered the other option. Rape = worst. So I argued the point.

Someone called me wrong and tore a strip. They didn’t respect my opinion and phrase it nicely. Being psychologically tormented can run a whole gamut of experience, and … well, people kill themselves over it. Hell, haven’t I almost?

For me to assume that it was the only conclusion was pointed out as faulty. It took me a while. I found and asked someone who’d been party to both, and (she) agreed that the rape was the lesser of the two.

I’m not sure how well I can distill the meaning for me behind my ill-kempt phrasing and stuttering blather.

Point (I think): I don’t think I necessarily believe the best of people solely because their shining visage is the only light they turn toward me, and this reinforced that.

The writing, a notch up from my banged up syllables, but not spectacular. I was wondering who, what, why, the whole way through – as an actual story, it left a lot. As a narrative, it’s better than a police blotter, *just*.

But then you dis Good Will Hunting, and hey, whoa, girl.

Anyway. I’m getting the impression I’d be wishing harm on the writer if we ever met, but the matter-of-fact delivery of topics is (she got it) refreshing, so I’m going to wade a way in and let my own ideology crash against the waves therein.

Today I also was made to realize that no bands I currently like have been here in a while. Else I’m just missing them – getting interested by show descriptions or reviews, thus after the fact, and somewhat conducive to having a long waiting in the future.